Is This Only A Girl Thing?

I was too spoilt by your undivided attention and affections.

I was greedy. I yearned for more.

Never once did I attempt to put a stopper to this self-destructive relationship. True, I was racked with guilt and regret whenever the consequences came to mind..but I was too preoccupied with relishing your attention. I wanted it to go on forever.

I wanted us to go on forever-being our awkward and uneasy duo for life.

I know, if I were to reveal the truth, it's pretty definite that I'll lose you for good. Then I'll be smothering our wonderful chemistry that I hold so dear with my own hands. I can't imagine life without us, you know that? I'm so dependent on your company, philosophies, encouragement, assurance and even warped views.

I know I'm hurting you dear. Oh so very badly. I'm ruining your chances with others. I'm tying you to me with secrets and half-truths for as long as I wish. And worst of all, I can never offer you what you desire the most.

I keep receiving and lapping it up without paying it back. I'm such an emotional leech aren't I?

Tell me, is it wrong to want exclusivity in a friendship? I'm so fucking selfish, but god. I just wanted you to regard me as first priority. It wasn't ever intentional. It was always an accidental obsession with you and the moments we've spent together.











I should let go for your sake. Must.Let.Go. Only because I care so much for you. |

about

Currently eighteen, and waiting for my angsty phase to run out. I'm a slave to books, to unfortunate circumstances like "exams" and "assignments". My expertise is my 100 decibel scream and barking laughter. I'm profoundly in love with NYC, and there isn't a second in which I don't wish for a life there.

This is not entertainment nor a place too seek for deep musings.This is the highly selective, highly biased, highly opinionated account of my life. I just write, as I feel. No, not think. Feel.

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