Come, come and listen.

Self-centred, inconsiderate and extremely humji.

Yeah, that's what I've always been like.

I like ostriches because I'm like them-I've stopped answering calls and replying smses. I have a strong belief in escapism-it's the only effective cure for urban stress.

But Im ok. I've always been ok, see? There's no cause for concern. And perhaps one should be aware of this-there are many things I despise, and amongst them, are sympathy and concern. Dont you worry, as it really bugs me that this stupid disease that afflicts me has far-reaching effects on my friends.

I'd like to be left to my own devices please. Even if it leads to self-destruction, I'll be immortalised as The Brave One Who Tried. It's a win-win situation.

And I realise Im too attached to these 300 plus entries to delete them entirely. This 1 year has been the most incredible journey, and it pains me to erase them with a ruthless click of the mouse. So maybe the blog shall be left rotting in one corner of the vast cyberspace, awaiting resurrection. Resurrection will come when the blogger has attained beatitude.

Adios!

edit:

Today must have been the day when I'm moved to no end by absolutely inconsequential, silly things that my friends do.

1) I finally saw the picture of the Angklung (our note!) Nan took with my phone. Gosh, she must have taken it discretely during my sulky moments in a bid to...I dunno, cast our happy moments in bronze? Well that's because she named the pic "Memories are made of these", which in my opinion, is darn sweet. Saccharine sweet, that one might be plagued with tooth decay. I love small surprises like that. :)

2) Vee: I missed chatting with you!
Vee: At least it makes me smile.
Luu: Who took your smile away???
Luu: *scowls angrily*
Vee: Life in general?
Vee: Haha. Many many things that can never be told in a single night.
Vee: But thanks anyway. You put it back on for me.
Luu: Im your kor mah.

And he proceeds to attempt healing this broken soul. I said attempt because, it's not an easy task. But Im immensely touched really, because it's amazing how one who doesnt know about my problematic stuffs, could ease the pain with such ease. |

GO AWAY AND NEVER RETURN.
DEATH HAS BECOMETH THE BLOG,
SO SEEK ELSEWHERE FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTAINMENT.

This is the long-awaited official farewell. Will delete the remaining posts in time to come.

This post...well, it shows that I still care about you guys to give you a proper goodbye. But dont return. Because suddenly, I hate everything on earth. |

There's a reason why people dont stay where they are.
Baby sometimes love just aint enough. |

I think, I've finally lost my reason to go on.

After months of threat, finally, this day has arrived.

Im just but a wandering soul. No dreams, no hopes, no needs, no faith.

I didnt ask for this. All my life, I lived for a home away from this hell. How can a homeland, a 2nd home wrought so much misery, I really dont know. Singapore and I are irreconcilable entities. If I have to stay, then let me not feel anymore.

You told me you'll have no life in the US. Well, I didnt force you to leave with me, did I? You then retorted that I can never be independent enough to fend for myself. I will learn! And even if I cant, I'll die a very happy death in the process. Because a happy death provides more relief than a meaningless life. You then influenced Dad into telling me we don't have enough to dispense for my university education. What nonsense!!!! What have we been saving for all these years?? And I will work after getting my degree. I will repay. Isnt this enough? It's ridiculous that we're suddenly poor just when I have to enter university. What a beautiful coincidence too.

I have nothing to reply to this "no money" excuse. It's a blatant lie that cuts so deep.

If it's really what you want, I shall try to finish my A's without anymore ambition. I'll even attend the local uni of your choice, and of course, my course will depend on you. Law? Medicine? Biomed? Whatever. My life's yours. You gave it to me, and I guess I have no say over it, do I? And thereafter, I shall transform into a mundane, routine creature who lives for her next paycheck. Her idea of fun consists of Happy Hours with colleagues and the occasional movies-cum-shopping trips. She will not visit museums, dream in Central Park, pray in beautiful churches and listen to the sweet music of vagabonds down in the subway. She cannot soak up the Arts and beauty, which are her very essence of life.

What is a person without dreams?

Nothing.

And I still have to cope with eternal heartache, stress and desolation. Have a nice life huh. |

about

Currently eighteen, and waiting for my angsty phase to run out. I'm a slave to books, to unfortunate circumstances like "exams" and "assignments". My expertise is my 100 decibel scream and barking laughter. I'm profoundly in love with NYC, and there isn't a second in which I don't wish for a life there.

This is not entertainment nor a place too seek for deep musings.This is the highly selective, highly biased, highly opinionated account of my life. I just write, as I feel. No, not think. Feel.

"Loss of Privacy" Index


archives
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007