I'm relocating.

I guess close ones should have seen this coming long ago.

So ask me for the new address; if not then wait patiently for "some day down the road" when I decide to open my heart for the world, I will reveal it here. |

Booze, You and I

“Eh thanks for staying back with me ah”
“Er I had nowhere else to go too and I needed to study in peace!”
“But do you realize there’s no one else left now..”
“Huh really ah!” *turns around frantically* “ Yeah hor…”
“So we’re alone in the classroom…”
“Uh yeah so?”
“So…”

And that got me petrified of Round 2, because there wasn’t really booze, not in school of course; but ah, the after-effects.

“So we’ve gotta go! Lecture starting already!”
“Wait!!!! You’ve got amazing flying legs you know that.”

And then you tripped while going down the stairs chasing after me.

Hahahahaha I’m sorry but I really had to bend over with laughter before helping you baby. Maybe all that mock-rudeness and pseudo-ferocity is a turn-on- and no, I’ll have none of that from now on.

Hurtful as it may be, it is entirely your fault that I can’t wait for project (and us) to end.

|

Because It’s Love

I think my boy has the cutest pout ever when I turn his lips downwards with my own hands. And if there’s something in the world that could melt my jaded heart, this would be it (:

I received this sms from Pest today:

Haha, dear, you look so blissful when you're with him keep smiling non-stop =p

And I thought, if my smiles indicate that much when I’m just with a lust-object (okay a long-time, very very special lust object no doubt), then what would they indicate when I’m with the bf? Is there a higher, more intense realm of bliss to be attained and described?

I’m so sorry for the very nasty things I’m capable of speaking. My wicked mouth that crushes people and make them laugh at the same time. There’s guilt, there’s a nagging sense of unease and frustration at your lack of concern. Everytime after a similar incident happened, I’ll get so scared to call or even sms you, fearing that you’ll say something that would really indicate the end of it all.

And then, that would be the end of my blissful bubble too. The one that has come to define what happiness means for me.

More patience baby, please?

|

20 this year and I've only just begun feeling blissfully ignorant and over-protected.

Well then I should be thankful for the tumultously rewarding one year (or rather, soon-to-be- but it doesn't matter!) that we've had, because I've learnt a lot from you.

I don't think I've ever got so close to losing it all, and it terrified me to no end.

I know I perpetually never listen to advice and just love acting the contrary. But this time, what others have said is true. You only know how much it means when you lose it.

Yes baby, I've been enlightened now...by the most heartwrenching experience no doubt, but at least it isn't too late.

So cherish I will. You, and us. (: |

Dear XXX,

It freaking hurts. It hurts so much that I'm troubled 24/7, I've a hard time concentrating on even the very first lecture of the semester, I've insomnia and the unfaithful heart wrenches at the most subtle reminder.

I'm hurt and guilt-ridden baby. I've since come to dread meeting you in school so much that every semblance of you (ALL guys in shorts and cap combi) will never enter a 10metre radius from me.

I know there's no way that you're hurting less than I am.

I'm sorry...but I wish you'll appreciate that I still care a hell lot. And more than anything, I want you to be happy.

And, if it isn't too tall an order, I hope we could be friends again.

Love,
Vic. |

Note To Self: Listen to the Teacher

So I've not even completed my first year and his prediction about leaving broken hearts in my wake came true.

And I think I've let XXX down the most. It's typical isnt it- that those who wear their hearts on their sleeves get hurt the most. So I've inevitably, doesn't matter if it's unintentional or not because the irreparable damage has already been cast, turned into a 52 of sorts.

Maybe tales have been going around about what a ruthless, intentionally misleading bitch I've been, but trust me, I hurt like crazy too.

I resolve to heed Linus' words from now on. I was obstinate, foolish and inexperienced with Life perhaps. At least now I know there really is someone who has ZERO malicious intentions on me and wants the best for me all the time. Aww..it makes me tear just to reminsce how foolhardy I was and how I've let him down time and again. Not anymore dear, not anymore.

And for the darlings still worrying about me, we're back to our happy status (: |

So I've just written what is undisputedly the most taxing letter to you!

I've exhausted all my words, thus I'm at a loss for what's apt now.

I hope the tears and efforts are worth it baby.

You're STILL my everything. |

about

Currently eighteen, and waiting for my angsty phase to run out. I'm a slave to books, to unfortunate circumstances like "exams" and "assignments". My expertise is my 100 decibel scream and barking laughter. I'm profoundly in love with NYC, and there isn't a second in which I don't wish for a life there.

This is not entertainment nor a place too seek for deep musings.This is the highly selective, highly biased, highly opinionated account of my life. I just write, as I feel. No, not think. Feel.

"Loss of Privacy" Index


archives
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007